Is Your Child A Bully? Is Your Child a Victim of a Bully?
Some facts about bullies:
-Strong need to dominate other students and to get their own way
-Impulsive and easily angered
-Defiant and aggressive toward adults, including parents & teachers
-Show little empathy toward students who are victimized
-If they are boys, they are physically stronger than their peers
-More likely to smoke and drink alcohol
-More likely to carry a weapon
-More likely to be convicted of a crime by age 24
Some facts about Victims:
-Cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn and shy
-Often anxious, insecure, unhappy, low self esteem
-Are depressed and engage in suicidal ideation more than peers
-Often don't have a single good friend, may relate better to adults
-May be physically weaker than peers
-May skip school to avoid the bully (thus poor grades)
-May have physical ailments (headaches, stomach aches, high blood
Bullying is on the rise. It can be name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities or social situations, physical abuse as well as social isolation with gossip or rumors. The bullied are not the only victims however. Those who bully others are often at risk for more serious violence. Male bullies are more likely to engage in antisocial and delinquent behavior such as vandalism, shoplifting and drug use into adulthood. They are four times more likely than non-bullies to be convicted of crimes by age 24, with 60% of bullies having at least one criminal conviction.
Children who are bullied often withdraw even further from the social peers, silently suffering from a loss of self esteem. Some react with depression, suicide, anxiety, truancy, or some other self destructive responses. Rarely, students who are bullied act out violently. Bullying has been a factor in nearly every school shooting since 1992.
Bullying increases in elementary school, peaks in middle school and declines in high school. Verbal abuse, however, remains constant throughout all of these years.
The latest trend is Cyber-bullying. This is verbal abuse via social networking sites. It can include mean spirited text, email or Facebook messages. It can include posting unflattering photos of someone through texts or on the Internet. Some students have even created websites or Facebook pages dedicated to making fun of a particular person.
How Parents can stop cyber bullying:
-Keep computers in easily viewable places
-Talk to your teens about their online activities
-Make sure your teen knows what cyber bullying is
-Review your teens' online communication and text messages
-Review your teens' activity with tablets and smartphones
-If there are concerns, install filtering or tracking software
"The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander" (Barbara Coloroso, Harper Collins) Great book available in the church library. Resources on how parents and teachers can break the cycle of violence.
Students at Tri Mountain Charter School in Colorado while doing research for a project about technology's negative effects on society found this page to be very helpful. Their teacher contacted us to express their gratitude for presenting the information. Also, the students named below wanted to share other websites which contain useful material on this subject.
Ben M. - Make a Difference for Kids
Angela P. - Cyberbullying Research Center
Sara - Cyber Safety for Kids & Teens
Derrik - Internet Safety
Andrew - Online Security Guide for Parents and Kids
Bullying Prevention Project www.clemson.edu/Olweus
Other Bullying information gleaned from "Sticks & Stones: Bullying leaves lifelong scars on innocent lives," by Judy Hare Thorne. The Angelos of Kappa Delta